In Parashat Lech Lecha, God gives Abram and Sarai new names – Abraham and Sarah. There is a midrash about how the letter yod, upset that it has been taken out of Sarah’s name and replaced with a hey, flies before God to plead its case. God comforts the yod and promises that in order to make up for this, God will put it at the beginning of a man’s name – Yehoshua (Joshua) . How much better to be at the beginning of a man’s name than the end of a woman’s! (Genesis Rabbah 47:1). Naturally, I wasn’t pleased with the suggestion that yod would be getting an upgrade by being moved from a female name to a male name, so this alternative midrash is my attempt to do justice both to the letter yod and to Sarai/Sarah.
Once upon a time, Yod was happy with her life. She was the first letter in God’s true name, the last letter of the matriarch Sarai’s name and the only letter who got to float in the air! She also had the value of 10 in gematria (Jewish numerology), which was a pretty special Jewish number. 10 commandments! 10 people to make a minyan (quorum for prayer)! 10 sefirot (Divine emanations)! Life was good. She couldn’t be happier.
But then, everything changed. God decided that Abram and Sarai needed new names. After all, they had acquired new identities since they had become the first monotheists. New names were only appropriate. So God called Abram “Abraham” and God called Sarai “Sarah.” Yod couldn’t believe it! She’d been at the end of Sarai’s name for so long! It had been her favourite thing about being Yod! She’d taken her responsibility for being part of the first matriarch’s name very seriously. Sarai was going to be the mother of the Jewish people, and Yod knew that this meant that she – Yod – would be inscribed for generations in Jewish texts, bringing honour to Sarai and her children. And now it was all being taken away?!
Yod flew up to the Heavens and demanded an audience with the Holy Blessed One. God’s royal guards tried to keep her from the throne room. “You need to wait for an appointment,” they told her, in stern voices. “An appointment?!” Yod replied. “Do you know who I am?! I am Yod, the first letter in the Divine name and the last letter in the name of the matriarch Sarai. I don’t need to wait for an appointment. And besides, this is important.” To the guards’ chagrin, Yod floated above their heads – thank goodness she was a flying letter! – and hovered proudly in front of the Holy Blessed One.
“Listen here, Eternal Almighty Blessed Sovereign of the Universe or whatever they’re calling you these days,” she said. “You’ve done me wrong. Taking me out of Sarai’s name?! How could you?! I was supposed to be remembered for generations in the name of the mother of the Jewish people. Now what am I? A floating dot.”
A silence followed. The Holy Blessed One was always a bit hard to read, not being corporeal. Yod knew that was the whole point of the Holy Blessed One, but it was terribly annoying. Yod had no idea what the silence meant. Was the Holy Blessed one angry? Surprised? Amused? Defensive? Just… thinking? In the silence, Yod started to lose her nerve. She’d been so brave before, but now, in the quiet, something else began to bubble up. She started to shake. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “It’s just not fair!” she wailed. “You’ve taken away everything that mattered to me!”
Another silence. And then, the Holy Blessed One spoke. “Oh my dear Yod, you are so precious to me. Did you not know that? How could you not be special to me, when I have placed you at the beginning of my own name? Let me explain. Sarah has been struggling. She wants, more than anything, to be a mother. This process is never easy and has no guarantees. But, I wanted to offer her what little comfort I could. Yod – you are the first letter of many wonderful things, but you are also the first letter of ya’ash – to despair – and yavesh – dried out and withered. Sarah is in the depths of despair and she worries that she is dried out and withered. I wanted to remind her of what is possible. So, I replaced you, Yod, in her name with Hey. Hey is the first letter of harah – to become pregnant. I put Hey in Abraham’s name, too, so that she would be reminded that it’s not only down to her to conceive. It takes two.”
“That’s all very lovely for Sarah,” cried Yod. “And for Hey. Lucky duck. In both parents of the Jewish people. But what about me?”
Another silence. A sigh. And then, “You know, Yod, not everything is all about you.”
The words cut Yod to the core. She supposed the Holy Blessed One was right. But it still hurt. She turned to go, floating much lower to the ground than before.
“Wait,” the Holy Blessed One called out. “I haven’t finished.”
Yod paused.
“I can see how much this is hurting you. I think there’s something I can do for you to make things a bit easier. In the future, two heroines will arise, bringing salvation to the people of Israel. The first will be called Yael – she will slay the general Sisera, oppressor of the Israelites, using only a hammer, a tent peg and her quick thinking. The second will be called Yehudit (Judith) – she will take up arms against the general Holofernes, the would-be destroyer of her hometown of Bethuliah and of Jerusalem, playing him like a fiddle and cutting him down with his own sword. Yod, you will be remembered, for the bravery of these women and the honour and salvation they will bring to Israel. You will be at the beginning of their names.”
Yod couldn’t help but smile just a little. This seemed like a good deal. Maybe even a better deal! She would crown the names of two of the bravest women in all of Jewish history!
“So, Yod, what do you think?” asked the Holy Blessed One.
“It’ll do,” said Yod, nonchalantly. She thought she could hear the Holy Blessed One laugh. She turned to go, this time floating high above the ground, bouncing just a little bit. With her back turned to the Holy Blessed One, she let the smile spread fully across her face.
“I’m sure it will,” said the Holy Blessed One. “Have a nice day, Yod.”
Yod paused. “You, too.” And she bounded gracefully out the door.
Kohenet Yael Tischler, LBC rabbinical student
The views expressed in this D’var Torah do not necessarily reflect the position of Leo Baeck College.